I was waiting for a right time to write this till now. Finally as a graduate I can now (YAYY! for completing a degree). Seeing all these photos of extravagant weddings make me nothing but sad. I am genuinely happy for you but seeing you celebrating ‘the milestone in life’ which you achieved doing nothing just seems pointless. Let’s have a real talk here now, the guy/girl you are marrying is probably the one you were in relationship with or is someone your parents arranged for you to get married to. Yes, being attracted, falling in love and all that dating might have taken some effort but isn’t it normal for people to get attracted to each other? And you automatically do things for them or say for yourself because that makes you feel good. I am not against wedding really, but seeing this unnecessary dramas and expenses in wedding which often leaves parents in debt makes me wonder if that lehenga or jewellery or whatever you wanted so badly is worth anything?
People my age give me this big talk of having a big fat wedding because its once in a while and honestly, I wouldn’t be writing this if you were to spend your hard earned money over spending your parent’s money recklessly. On top of that, I don’t understand why aren’t we celebrating or prioritising real achievements in life, like getting a degree, securing a job that you wanted to, or the promotion you get or the venture you started is successful. Isn’t that the real achievement? You actually have to work off your ass off, without saying day and night to have that result unlike wedding. Yes, weddings are important but instead of wasting money on all that extras and all those things that will hide somewhere in your cupboard for rest of life, can’t we just do something simple? The unnecessary want to show off of who’s got what and ‘I can do better than them’ feeds nothing but negativity in society and the coming generation. And giving all that stress to family for nothing doesn’t make us any good person either.
I might sound like anti-cultural, anti-weddings or whatever but standing up and voicing out for what I believe is wrong, then be it because I won’t probably be shamelessly taking a piece of a furniture as a gift from my parents when I get married. 25 years ago, when my parents got married, my mother was sent off to my father’s home with bed, wardrobe, dressing table and someone I know who got married couple of year back had the same thing. It clearly is a dowry, not a gift. When I opposed to why they were sent off with all those and why didn’t the bride and groom oppose it, I just received an answer that it was important. Seriously, in this age, if I cannot even stick to my own words of being against dowry or simply not being able to afford something as basic as such, that raises a serious question, am I ready to take on responsibility that comes with getting married? The answer is No! In this competitive world, if you don’t even have that source yet to take care of yourself and your family, how can one do for two families?
My thoughts may never resonate to you and I might just be labelled as ‘wanna-be’ but this seriously doesn’t bother me, not even a bit. I believe in celebrating hard work and weddings, birthdays equally not by giving my family a headache and most importantly not doing things to pleasure the world but myself and my loved ones who mean the world to me.
(P.S. I am totally up for wedding anniversaries though because that takes a great deal of time, commitment, compromises to be together.)